UNSEEN
“There’s nothing wrong,
We didn’t see anything,
The tests came back clean,
You can leave now; you’re free.”
But I’m not free and I cannot leave
This unseen disease
Has a cold grip on my body and it
Will.Not.Let.Me.Go
Even if you say say its not so
And deny all the sign and symptoms today
That will not make my pain and disease go away
You’ve told me that I’m faking
I saw you, yes I did,
When you whispered to the other nurse
And pointed to your head
To tell her I was crazy
And needed a shrink instead
You believe in the wind and in little germs
You can see neither with your eyes,
Yet my body…how it squirms
The pain is written on my body;
It wears no clever diguise;
It’s written on my face
And in the way I walk
And move
And sit
And pace
You tell me with a smile:
“There’s nothing wrong,
We didn’t see anything,
The tests came back clean,
You can leave now; you’re free.”
And you wonder why I’m upset when you say you didn’t see?
Isn’t it good news? I don’t have cancer, I don’t have something deadly!
But no, to me it’s bad sad news.
Because what you cannot see, you don’t believe,
And therefore, you cannot fix,
And I’d like you to fix me.
Please.
So when I cry when you tell me my tests came back “all good”
Consider that it might not be so odd
To cry when even a grown man should
Because I’m not free and I cannot leave
This unseen disease
Has a cold grip on my body and it
Will.Not.Let.Me.Go
Sarah M. Bosse
01/29/2013 9:00pm
Oh Sarah!
You nailed it spot on!
I have read all Your posts and I can see that You surely are a fighter…
I’m lying here in my bed crying because of the pain in my intestines, so I know excatly what You’r going through, but I will try to see it through just like You do…
(Sorry for the spelling but I’m from Denmark)
Aw, thanks Jean. Your comment makes me want to continue writing.
Praying for you and your innards. I’m sorry you understand that kind of pain. May God give you the strength and grace you need to make it through each minute and second. He’s there to support us when we cry out to Him. Let me know if there is anything I can do.